What Parents Owe Their Children

In his book, “Future Shock”, Alvin Toffler describes how changes in our world feel as though they are happening so quickly, it is almost as if we are constantly living in the future.  Time seems to be moving at such a rapid pace that it can cause conflict in people who are still trying to adjust to the changes of the past.  Sometimes, it makes it difficult to live in the present. 

I recently read a survey concerning the future.  A group of staffers asked parents if they thought the best days to raise children were in the past, or in the future.  Interestingly, 92% of the parents surveyed said they thought that the best days to raise children were in the past.  Only 8% said they thought the future would be a better day to raise children. 

In many ways, it is more difficult to be a parent today.  At the same time, it is also more difficult to be a kid now as well.  While every generation has entered into a world that faces its own particular pressures, the challenges today’s generations face are extreme. 

Most parents want their kids to have a sense of responsibility.  They want their kids to treat people well and to be tolerant of others who are different or struggling.  Most parents want their kids to have a good self-image, and to demonstrate a grateful spirit.  So, what is it that parents actually OWE their children?   Your list may vary, but here is mine:

1.        Unconditional Love – If you read the story of the Prodigal Son, we seen a perfect example of how a father welcomed his son home, after years of his son making terrible choices.  At some point, maybe the father sat down with his son to go over some of the choices he had made, but his first response was to hug his son and welcome him back into the family.  He provided a nurturing environment, which allowed his son to feel a sense of security. 

2.       Constructive Discipline – The survey claimed that 60% of parents believe they discipline their own child correctly, but 80% of them disapprove of how other parents corrected their own.  Discipline simply means helping a child modify an issue and move forward in a better way. 

3.       Time Together – The one thing kids need most is time.  Time for listening to them, time for activities to bond with them.  Understanding rarely happens without an investment of time. 

4.       Modeling – Children mimic what they see.  It is interesting, but the Hebrew word for parent and teacher is the same.  We are to be teachers to our children.  They live what they learn. 

5.       Mutual Respect – One of the toughest things about raising kids is allowing them to have their own personality and interests.  We need to guide our children; rather than demand they make the kind of choices we think they should make.  Mutual respect is about parents (or social workers) trying to see the world through their kid’s eyes. 

All of this gives our children a foundation for the future.   When our children have a strong foundation, it offers them the kind of security that is necessary in our turbulent world.  It also gives them wings.  This means they will develop a greater willingness to try new things and discover better fits for their talents.   They can then proceed with a life that is productive and purposeful. 

May God bless you in your work with children, whether they are your own or others.  It is a labor of love and one of the most important jobs a person will ever do. 

With love,

Pastor Mike Howard